“RoboGeisha” Movie Review: Absolutely Ridiculous, and Absolutely Brilliant!

Two sisters named Yoshie and Kikue Kasuga are orphans who live by themselves, Kikue is a Geisha, and Yoshie is a clumsy geisha’s attendant. Both become smitten by a man named Hikaru Kageno who ask them to come over for dinner and become his prisoner to serve the rest of their lives as Robot Geisha Assassins who are one by one killing off all the politicians in Japan. But Yoshie sees the wickedness in Hikarus ways and becomes a rogue assassin from the Kageno Steel Company Group. Armed with nothing but the cybernetics put in her by Hikaru she must take down the Kageno Company and save her sister who is now her rival.

This movie was absolutley ridiculous but it is a fun movie to watch, if you are looking for a serious movie stay as far from this one as possible but te comedy is great, and every 15 minutes there is something you have never seen before. Here is a list of what you can see in this movie.

Weaponized acid boob milk spray, butts that launch ninja stars, butt blade, arm pit blades, boob Gatling gun, robot castle, flying robot castle, tank geisha, separating robot geisha who attacks with torso and legs at the same time, geisha mouth saw blade, man with punched invert face, man who gets hit so hard his head goes into his body, geisha hair missiles, did I mention BOOB GATLING GUN? Oh and there is tons more, this move was insane. So if you are looking for a comedy that is way off target but still funny then this movie is for you.

We gave the movie a “C” but gave it an “A” for ridiculous fun. If you are bored and want a ridiculous comedy check it out on Netflix.

 

Hunter Prey 2009 Movie Review

The starship Prometheus falls out of orbit with a escort crew and one dangerous prisoner. At the crash landing site a small group of survivors are looking to re-capture their important alien prisoner alive. With nothing but 3 soldiers armed to the teeth they must try to recapture their alien prisoner alive, but it proves harder than the thought since the prisoner has a very strong weapon of it’s own, the will to survive and a very cunning intelligence. And to make matter worse they must do it withing 100 standard hours before their pick up ship comes.

This movie was shockingly very good, from the very beginning of the movie it started off not so great because you can see the flaws from the low budget of the film. But within the first 15 minutes you will be captured by the mystery and the fun of the hunter and prey theme. But even with the low budget special effects the story is really good with above average action scenes.

This movie deserves a sold “C” grade, it is very entertaining, and worth a rental. Or you can even check it out on the Netflix instant cue.

“Top Gun” Movie: Maverick was an A-Hole!!!

Top Gun is a classic movie favorite for all of the wrong reasons. If you have not watched it before, many would ask if you have been hiding under a rock as this movie was an American Classic made in 1985.

Recap this movie was about a hot shot pilot with attitude and a chip on his shoulder because of his fathers mysterious past. After a mission where the top pilot of the aircraft carrier they all belonged to had a nervous break down Mavrick (Tom Cruise) and his co-pilot Goose (Anthony Edwards) get accepted to Top Gun the most notorious flight school in the United States to become the best pilots in the world.

This movie was great for its time but for all the wrong reasons. If you watched this movie and wanted to be just like Maverick here are some key elements why Mavrick was a douche.

1) The only reason Maverick and Goose got into Top Gun was because the better pilot Cougar had a nervous break down because Maverick left him with out a wing man (It is important to have a wing man so another enemy plane does not lock on to you.). And guess what an Enemy plane locked on to Cougar an all Cougar could think about was his family because he felt he might die this day.

2) During Top Gun all the pilots were specifically told not to fly underneath the hard-deck, the height of which that makes it unsafe to fly in case of civilians, buildings, and in this case huge valley canals that other pilots can crash into. But guess what, since Maverick is such and A-Hole he flies below the hard deck anyways to get to Viper one of the top, Top Gun instructors to win a competition so he ends up endangering everyone including him self because he is too self absorbed about winning the competition.

3) Gooses dies, and this is all on Maverick, because he is flying wing man to Iceman (Val Kilmer), his rival. During one of the training exercises Iceman is trying to lock on of the kill and instead of being patient Maverick decides to push his jet too close to Icemans Jet. So because Maverick is rushing Iceman to take the shot and being a impatient A-Hole, when Iceman veers off Mavericks plane gets caught in the jet wash. This throws Mavericks plane into a 360 flat spin where they have to eject and in the process his wing-man Goose Breaks his neck ejecting into the top glass canopy. But for some reason everyone says it is not Mavericks fault.

4) Mavrick feels it’s okay to buzz the tower! Why some people thinks this is funny is beyond me, he calls in to the flight tower and asks to do a fly by, the tower answers him a no. So because he thinks this a funny does a fly by, or buzz the tower anyways which causes all the tower workers to jump up out of fear, and hurting their ear drums in the process as the Tower commander spills his hot coffee all over him. How is this funny what did the tower commander to to Mavrick last I checked the tower commanders only job is to make sure all of the jets have a flight plan so they don’t crash into each other, what if he was telling Maverick not to fly by because there was another approaching jet, then they would of crashed into each other now wouldn’t they?

5) Four Guys playing Volleyball all four wearing aviator sunglasses and jeans… ALL FOUR!!! Come on!

 

“The Ice Pirates” Movie: Remake? Sequel? or Leave Alone?

The Ice Pirate is about, in the far future water is the most valuable substance. Two space pirates are captured, sold to a princess, and recruited to help her find her father who disappeared when he found information dangerous to the rulers. A real Space Opera with sword fights, explosions, fighting robots, monsters, bar fights and time warps.

In the 80’s this movie was great and has now become a solid cult film movie. Watching this movie for the first time was great and it has its funny parts (Space Herpes).

With the technology now a days and if any producers or directors are looking at this article this could be a great TV show, or a fantastic remake with the new Speical Effects. and My choice for director would be either JJ Abrams (Star Trek), Dean Parisot (Galaxy Quest) or an awesome dark horse Dean Parisot (Serinity/Firefly).

Our vote is for a full reboot with a fan of science fiction or a fan of the movie.

 

Due Date (2010) Movie Review

Due Date is about a man named Peter (Robert Downey Jr.) who  is a high strung Architect who is having his first born baby with his wife. While in an airport getting ready to fly across the country to see his first born he meets a bumbling odd man named Ethan (Zack Galifianakis) who ruins peters chances of taking a airplane flight straight to his wife, and red flagging peter from ever taking another fight ever again. Peter must now race home from New York to Los Angeles within 4 days if he wishes to see his daughter born. But without his wallet, money, or credit cards he must put his chances back to the person who ruined the flight in the first place with Ethan who offers to help Peter get back to his family.

This movie is very reminicent of Planes, Trains, and Automobiles but if you can image the two charaters are Tony Stark from Iron Man and Alan from the Hangover. This does make for a very funny movie with non-stop laughs, a very dark humor, and both characters have a really good chemestry. This movie even has a serious side to it that is a little bit of a twist but does not impede the rythum of the film at all.

This flick deserves a solid B

“Let Me In” 2010 Movie Review

A young boy who lives in small apartments with his drunken separated mother meets a new friend, a strange girl who says they can not be together. The boy Owen (Kodi Smit-McPhee) has even a harder life with extreme bullies who refuse to leave him alone and causing Owen physical harm day to day. This new friend Abby (Chloe Moretz) helps him with his fears while keeping her distance from him, because she holds a very super natural dark secret that does not allow her to be normal. Both Owen and Abby try to overcome both of their hurdles together while trying not to die.

This movie was a crazy experience, and gave nothing away until the very end. The surprises are extreme and it is not until the middle for this movie that you can figure out what is really going on. This movie is refreshingly original to an old horror story, with great drama, thrills, and heart felt story about a boy and a girl.

I would personally give this movie a B+ because of its originality.

Agent Cody Banks movie review B-

Released: 2003

Starring: Frankie Muniz, & Hillary Duff

Cody Banks may look like the average kid, but under the innocent looks of the average teen lays a highly trained government agent.  Cody is sent to watch over a scientist working on nano technology and to do that he has to get close to the scientist’s  daughter(Duff).  Now for Cody just talking to a girl is a harder mission than fighting a room full of bad guys.

A cute preemie James Bond kind of story, your kids will love it.  Full of adventure and laughs they will be begging to be sent to summer camp and be recruited to be a  government agent as well.

Adventures in Babysitting movie review B+

Released: 1987

Starring: Elizabeth Shue

Director: Chris Columbus

Chris Parker(Shue) is dating the most popular guy in school and everything is perfect.  When her big date with Mr. Cool gets cancelled she is recruited for a babysitting job that turns out to be more than she bargains for.  When her best friend runs away to the city then has second thoughts she pleads for Chris to come take her home and sends Chris and the kids she is sitting for an all out adventure they will never forget.

A fun movie to watch over and over, this was one of Elizabeth’s first big movies as an actress.  Full of teenage adventures it will keep you on edge till the very end.

The Absent Minded Professor A+

Released: 1961

Starring: Fred MacMurray, Nancy Olson, Kennan Wynn

Director: Robert Stevenson

Professor Ned Brainerd(MacMurray) is always forgetting about his personal life even his own wedding.  In a faulty experiment that causes an explosion Prof Brainerd, stubbles on to the best discovery of his life.  When one of his inventions is stolen and his fiancé leaves him it is up to the Professor to get everything back and set it all right along with helping his College sports team.

This classic Disney film is a joy for families.  Full of laughs and totally safe for young children.  This is a wonderful addition to your movie library and delivers fun and excitement every time you watch it.

101 Dalmations Movie Review B-

Released: 1996

Starring: Glenn Close, & Jeff Daniels

Directed by: Stephen Herek

A real life adaption of the animated classic Walt Disney’s 101 Dalmatians.  An obsessed fur wearing woman (Close) kidnaps puppies in order to skin them for the perfect coat.  When Anita and Roger(Daniels) family pets Pongo and Perdie’s puppies go missing there is a massive search by human and animal kind.  When found in the evil Cuella DeVil’s clutches it is an all out war to free the captured puppies.

This is a cute family film for all ages. Glenn Close delivers a command performance as DeVil and captures the character as no one could.  This film blended real life and computer animation perfectly to depict the family of puppies.  This is a wonderful family night film filled with laughs and thrills